I am looking forward to moving on to 2012 and leaving 2011 in the dust.  It has not been the easiest year for me…yet it has been a year of growth.  Somehow the two usually go together – hard times and opportunities to change.  Here is what this year has taught me:

1.  I am not as strong as I think.  In fact I am pretty darn weak without the strength that comes from God’s help.  (Philippians 4:19)

2.  Sometimes I miss the truth that is right in front of me because the lie is easier to believe. (2 Corinthians 4:4)

3.  Beauty is not beautiful if it is only skin deep.  May my heart, soul and spirit be made pure and beautiful.  (Psalm 51:10).

4.  I am blessed with an amazing husband – loyal, a great provider, funny, handsome, kind, full of forgiveness and grace.  Satan will try to convince me otherwise on a daily basis.  However, God chose him for me, to bless me, to shape me, to bring me joy, and to teach me to handle pain.  He is my gift from God and I will not try to return or exchange him like an unwanted Christmas present. (James 1:17)

5.  I don’t have to have a plan for everything.  In fact, I can’t plan everything.  And that is ok.  God has a plan and I chose to trust Him.  (Jeremiah 29:11).  Oh, and just because a door opens does not mean God wants me to walk through it.

6.  Boundaries are good.  Even if they are hard to set.

7.  Sin is ugly, dirty, nasty and a slippery slope.  Sometimes you don’t even realize you are sinning until you are sliding head first into the pit.  (1 Peter 5:8).  I deceived myself and others in order to ignore the slippery slope I was on.

8.  Climbing to the tops of mountains and running races helps me appreciate the abilities God has given me and His creation.

9.  Taking a 2 year break from church was not a good idea, because it ended up meaning a 2 year break from God.

10.  I thought more highly of myself then I should have – convinced that I was somehow superior, that I had arrived, was mature, and had learned enough to know how this thing called life works.  That spirit of conceitedness caused me to stay cocooned in my own knowledge and experience rather than reaching out for others when I needed them.  (Romans 12:3).

Yes, it was a rough year.  I was taken off my high horse, made same poor choices, lost friendships, and found myself lost in the muck and mire.  BUT, I am so thankful that God’s mercies are new every morning, that HE did not abandon me!  Somehow He still manages to love me in spite of me.  (Lamentations 3:22-24, Deuteronomy 31:8).

2012 is my year of intention – to live intentionally, eyes wide open, ready to become more like Christ.  See, I found myself wanting to be like this world.  Or maybe not the world as a whole, but like people in this world.  More like friends.  More like fitness models.  More like the sexy, alluring TV stars.  More like what I imagined happiness to look like.  What I found though was that I lost the essence of who I was, the core of me, in trying to be more like the world.  In 2012 I want to let the essence of me reach out for God, where true happiness resides, and be transformed from the inside out.

May my intentions be pure in 2012. (Hebrews 10:22)